Here I am in beautiful Cologne, in the middle of Germany's fabulous summer weather.  Fabulous meaning that while it is in the 90's with 100% humidity back in Virginia, it is 70 degrees here (75 on a hot day) and dry.  And a gorgeous breeze blows through the city all the time, making a cool-down as frequent as a pass by an alley. 

From that rapturous opening it sounds sort of like I'm a fancy-pants traveler here on "holiday."  But actually I'm here on a shoestring, with one suitcase, a laptop and a couple of train passes.  I'm staying at an adorable little mom-and-pop (actually mom and son) hotel out near St. Gereon's church, about 10 minutes away from the cathedral.  It is dirt cheap to stay here (30 Euro per night) and I have a pretty little room with a big window, a wardrobe, a desk, my own sink (!) and a comfy bed.  I have to share a bathroom, but the fabulousness of the bathroom pretty much makes up for it.  It's like a fancy hotel bathroom and it's always spotless.  I feel lucky that this panned out, but I also have to thank the internet for providing me with some dependable reviews, so I didn't have to jump in blindly. 

Although my German is far from perfect (in fact it is rudimentary), I've managed to successfully communicate with everyone except one very impatient salesperson at the electronics store.  I had never asked for electronics anything in German, so I did not know the word for this item that turns my American pronged plug into a German pronged plug.  Obviously I don't even  know this word in English.  I didn't buy one from him anyway; his much more helpful colleague helped me over to another store that sells electronic odds and ends (rather than his big-box type store) and I got a very nice prong-thing for 7 Euros and change.  Most of my actual exchanges in German have been pretty brief and to the point, e.g. "No I would not like an egg, thank you," and "You can see in the mirror that the back of this coin shows Mary and Charlemagne."  I was pretty proud of myself during that latter exchange, as I tend to freeze up a little bit and forget words.  But so far everyone has been very patient with me (yay!) and one lady, bless her, even said my accent was good.  Ha ha.  It is not, I assure you.  I would really like to live here for a while, I feel that my German would greatly improve.  

I have also had a major victory over the train system (crosses fingers for Saturday's early departure).  Travel systems, including busses, generally terrify me and it was with tremendous nervousness that I ventured onto the platforms for Cologne (from the airport), Essen and Aachen.  And back.  The worst is when the train's destination isn't the city you want, like when the train is headed past Cologne (with a stop there).  I was very nervous about that one.  But I have made no mistakes thus far!  Hurray!  I have also bought the correct tickets, with some help from the nice travel guy at the train station who walked me through the process.  He spoke English, so I have no laurels to claim in the language department there.  But I would rather have the right ticket than boldly venture into the German rail system having asked for a one way ticket in some kind of linguistic screw-up and then be yelled at by the (often scary) ticket checkers.  When they get mad they talk REALLY fast.  I heard one yell at some kid riding without a ticket yesterday and was happy not to be on the other end of the lecture.  

I have only a few pictures of myself here (due to traveling alone and reticence to be touristy and ask for photos), but I have a multitude of church pictures.  I forgot my camera cable, or I'd already have them on Flickr, and I will upload them when I get home, probably right away or after a nap.  I expect to be exhausted.

I also took one video.  It was today at Aachen, I was walking out of the cathedral street and I heard the strains of Pachabel's Canon.  Say what you like about it being hackneyed, but there is something incredible about actually BEING in Aachen and having this beautiful music suddenly occur.  I went over and saw a violinist, cellist and flautist with at least one gothy t-shirt on and an apparently capitalistic outlook, as they moved on with their pretty substantial wad of donations after the piece was over.  But while they were playing?  Birds were singing, the sun was shining, the wind was breezy, and people were eating ice cream all over the place (apparently if it is a nice day EVERY German must have ice cream).  Perfect, absolutely perfect. 

Well, we got back from our trip late last Saturday night.  It was AMAZING.  I have rarely been as relaxed and had as much fun as we had on vacation.  Tom's parents, Willa, Greg, and Willa's parents all joined us (although Willa and her parents only for a few days) and they were all completely wonderful.  Seriously low stress, low drama folks and I appreciate that incredibly much.

I spent a ton of time on the beach.  It was beautiful, although the water was very cold I went in every trip.  There were several flocks of pelicans, which would fly very close to the water and hunt for fish.  At one point a sandbar formed about 30 yards out and we all stood on it, and the pelicans came incredibly close during their fly-overs.  There were also bi-planes with long streamers that advertised food and other random things, which I love.  On the last day, Saturday, Tom and I decided that making a speedy return was NOT a priority (yay!) and stopped for EVERYTHING on the way home.  Three thrift stores (good ones, too, Outer Banks has these stores that are sponsored by the women's shelter and they're great) , two mini-golf games, Kohl's, Target... it was delightful.  And we finished up with a trip to the Norfolk Zoo and dinner at Applebees (their 2 for 20 deal, excellent).  Seriously?  I could not have asked for a better vacation.  Really.

I uploaded all the pictures that we took to my Flickr account.

As to the hack-y sewing projects, I think all went well.  Tom's dad has some of the pictures, which I will post on Flickr as soon as I get copies of them.  You can see the flowered skirt in some of our nighttime beach pictures, and the green shirt is in the picture of us in the giant chair.  I did not end up wearing the yellow shirt, pretty much ran out of time.  I got an outfit at Kohl's on the way down, which was an epic win: a vintage-style Ninja Turtle shirt and a green skirt!  Awesomeness!  Anyway everything was wearable, and while I was down there I decided to do the same thing I did to the flowered skirt to one of my other skirts, which had a smocked waistband that made me look pregnant.  I carried this out with some linen fabric upon my return home and it was a great success.  I think I will also make myself a maxi dress, since I have only found ones that are either too short, too ugly, extremely plain or $245.  That last one was a Seven For All Mankind dress that I tried on before looking at either the tag or the brand, lol.  It fit like a glove.  Damn high priced designers. 

My trip to Germany is coming up.  I've got some butterflies but I'm really excited about it, since I get to visit everything that I'm actually interested in and it will be a great challenge to organize and execute my plans.  A doable challenge.  That's the kind I like.  I found a reference to a set of figural doors commissioned by a Cologne abbess which I had never heard of before, and I am pretty excited about that, perhaps I can write a paper on them!  I can't wait to check it out.

Oh, one other thing, I finally went to the thrift store on the corner.  It's upstairs of a fancy-pants designer clothing store which is way out of my price range.  But the stuff upstairs?  It's wonderful things that the stupid UVA students dropped because of retarded issues like a few missing stitches or a missing thread.  Totally fixable stuff, that anyone with a brain and a needle and thread could repair.  DIRT CHEAP!  I got a necklace there that was made of big, gorgeous shells that were tumbled round and pieces of coral that was unwearable because the chain was too long for it (made the necklace creep around to one side or the other and didn't hang right) and just popped in jump rings and a clasp and it looks awesome.  I love projects.  Yay!

Tom's parents rented a beach house in the Outer Banks (NC) for a week.  This house is frankly amazing.  It has a pool, a hot tub, three floors and about 6 full bedrooms.  They let us have the king size bed, which bedroom has its own private bathroom.  We're a 3-minute walk from the beach.  Last night I slept with the window open and the salt smell blowing in gave me wonderful sleep.  We've been grilling every night and I got some sand on my hot dog and ate it anyway and was happy for the sand.  The area we are staying in, Corolla, is a bird sanctuary and there are about a ton of these wonderful black birds that are about 1 1/2 times as large as a nightingale and the same shape.  They make absolutely beautiful songs.

Today we went to a lighthouse and some kind of ridiculous tourist shopping area with silly items.  There was a little nature trail which we went down, and at the end there were wetlands with a nice swampy smell and this really awesome bird with a huge spiky bill and a neck that telescoped out when he saw minnows.  He was a great fisherman, he caught two minnows while we were watching him.  He had a dark head, a red breast and a brownish body.  We got some pictures, when we get home I'll figure out what he was.

Oh also there are a ton of crabs here!  They're a light yellow color and they pop their little eyestalks out of the sand and look around before they come out.  They are super fast, they almost blow across the sand.  I watched them for a long time yesterday and then some guys came over and hit one with a shovel and I had to yell at them.  I think I scared them pretty bad, but they deserved it for randomly hitting my crab buddies.  Tom's dad took a bunch of crab pictures, I'll have to ask him to share.

I'm so happy here.  It's beautiful and peaceful and I can get in any kind of water I want at the drop of a hat.  The first night I had nostalgia pangs like no other, missing Ocean City.  I also miss Alexia, she was always my beach buddy.  It's not the same without you Alex!

Since I think it is actually pretty interesting.

Shirt 1: Basic hem.  As waistbands move upwards, longer shirts are difficult to pair with skirts that flare out just below the natural waist.  I took this shirt up to right below the belly button level.  If it looks good, pictures will be forthcoming.

Shirt 2: This shirt was embellished, but with a few too many cloth flowers.  It is my design executed by a lovely seller on Etsy.  Here is a picture in the original state:


The flowers at the hip stuck off and looked somewhat weird.  The ones at the neck look lush and beautiful.  This shirt fits like a glove, so it didn't need any alteration in that sense.  I wore it once with hip flowers and was unsatisfied with the result, so I spent a few minutes removing them.  I think the outcome is excellent. 

Skirt 3: The major project (and the one that made me realize that I am a hack) was the skirt.  It was also from Etsy, but a bit on the cheap side so I hadn't really been expecting miracles.  I have to say that the seller did an excellent job for the most part.  Here is my original design idea:



Yes my drawing is very MS Paint-like.  I drew it in MS Paint. 
I asked for a chiffon or sheer fabric, with a stretchy waistband made of t-shirt material and a light colored lining.  Here is the finished product:



This is an excellent translation of the design-- for the most part.  The one deviation is that the waistband, which you can just see if you look hard, is NOT a jersey material but rather a cotton duck of some sort.  I had a very solid reason for asking for jersey.  Chiffon, or any sheer and poofy fabric, when gathered, is remarkably fattening.  Any gathers around the waist will result in the chiffon sticking out horizontally to some extent, which is fine if you are a ballerina or Kate Moss, but on anyone over 125 lbs looks more like a floofy muffin.  Not an attractive look.  The virtue of attaching chiffon to jersey is that you can stretch the jersey along the chiffon so that when it's on your waist the two fabrics lie flat, but you still get the staying power of the stretched elastic jersey to keep your skirt from falling down.  Having worn the skirt once with fairly bad results, I decided that I would both shorten it and fix the waist.  I cut the entire thing apart and re-sewed it all back together with alterations and a great deal of swearing and sweatiness.  Chiffon is not a friendly fabric.  The results are exactly as planned.  I may be a sewing hack, but I know how fabrics work and what doesn't work.  Provided I can put together a good outfit with this, I'll have pictures next week.

I also took a few minutes for a relatively minor project-- fixing the cuffs on my capri pants.  A very appealing (to me) style is currently making the rounds, capris and shorts with cuffs that button up.  I like this look, sort of safari-cum-picnic.  Unfortunately the cretin responsible for creating my shorts and capris saw fit to simply roll up a longer length short or pant and add a strap with a button.  That is lazy  and stupid.  Both items look terrible with the cuffs rolled down; one of the pairs isn't even finished under the cuffs.  So this leaves me with tons of bulky extra fabric and a necessary ironing after every wash to get the cuff to sit flat again.  And then they still droop.  Ironing, bah.  On safari you don't have an iron!  My response to this stupid issue is to sew along the seams of the pants to keep the cuff up whether it wants to or no.  To fight the droop I added a few tiny little thread buttons (this is like a little flat square of thread holding the pieces together) in the appropriate places.  No more droop, no more ironing and no more refolding!  

We're going on vacation in a few days, so I'm going to take lots of pictures of these items and report back on how the sewing projects held up in real life.  Hopefully well!

I decided to tackle my unwearable- broken- busted- torn pile today.  It was about 4 shirts and a skirt in various stages of distress.  I was midway through taking the skirt apart and re-assembling it when I realized something about my sewing.

I am a hack. 

I probably should not be surprised.  As soon as I plug in the sewing machine, my patience diminishes to that of a two-year-old, I become irritable, foul-mouthed and prone to violent rages if I can't immediately fix something that has gone wrong.  I lose things.  I tear threads out.  You do not want to be around me when I am sewing.  I think that my conscientious sewing work of high school was largely due to the amount of people interested in what I was doing; there were probably 3 or 4 at any given time, since my family was always very enthusiastic about the creative process.  I wanted respect and therefore I worked carefully and quietly.  Now, alone, and sewing only for myself, I turn into some kind of she-devil at the machine.  I get my results the absolute worst corner-cutting, nobody-will-know-to-look-there, unmatching-thread-using way. 

However my results are fabulous.

At least until a crappy seam goes awry.  Then I will have to get the machine out again.


I think this post wins for the most hyphenated thing I've written in quite a while.

Wrapped everything up nicely, I think.  My medieval feminism paper came out very well and I think it's a potential conference paper for the future.  I've scheduled a trip to Germany to do some further research, which is a little daunting but completely awesome!  Looks like next year is going to be really, really busy for me: I have to put together my MA thesis, TA two classes (unknown amount of sections) and do all the rest of the work involved in a normal semester.  Scheduling, it will have to happen.  Oh, and I got two A's and one grade hasn't come back yet due to my professor having a baby.  Successful semester all around, I think.

I've embarked on a pretty intensive photo-scanning project with the albums that my mom sent to my dad.  I've got them publicly shared so that they get as many tags and views as possible, because my major concern is to identify all of the people in them correctly.  Also places, and whatever else may be of note.  If you see something notable, feel free to tag it or make a comment about it!  Also, just to make this clear, I didn't put up the pictures to create a forum for family disagreements or drama.  If anyone makes a post on the photos that involves some kind of drama, I will delete it.  Just trying to keep things friendly and useful.  On a lighter note, I LOVE the pictures.  They are by and large not very artistic, but the vivacity of the kids and friends really comes through.  It's thoroughly enjoyable.

Also, you know that phenomenon where some old pictures have fashion that makes the people just look ridiculous?  I think that is largely connected to how well their clothing actually fits.  If you look at the vintage photos, even really passe styles look interesting and even flattering-- provided they fit the person wearing them.  A lot of the facepalm-worthy shots come from people wearing clothing that fits poorly or isn't well put together.  And the worst of the trendy clothing (which I haven't scanned yet) tends to fall into easily identifiable figure-mishaps, like having a lot of pleats at the waist or pegged ankles.  Of course, the kids look pretty cute regardless.  Man, these pictures are just great.

Oh, and both the cats are now neutered.  Hallelujah.  Jack has not been getting into fights (or at least he hasn't been coming home with cuts and scrapes) ever since the operation.  He and Boots still fight each other, but it's mostly play-fighting with no claws.  It's kind of cute.

One other thing, I'm growing a pepper this year!  It's lovely!

Here are some pictures!






   

       

What fabulous, fabulous weather we've been having.  60-80 during the day, and rain at night.  My baby sprouts are having a field day, so to speak... sprouting up all over the place.  Best plant spring I think I've seen for a while.

And we're in pretty good shape to enjoy it!  I've been going to the gym faithfully and eating relatively well, and Tom has lost about 7 pounds and counting on his diet.  Maybe even 10.  At least some of my clothes are fitting a little more comfortably than last year. 

The skirt I'm wearing in the pink shirt and flowered skirt picture is the best thing ever.  It's a custom from Etsy and it has birds and really unusual flowers all over it!  Including things like orchids and foxgloves.  I wish they printed it on jersey too so I could have a maxi dress made out of it.  It's totally beautiful. 

The cats are doing awesomely, we finally got Jack neutered after a really nasty fight.  Also the neighbors indicated to me that they weren't anti-neuter after they found out that Boots was mysteriously missing his gonads.  Previously they were gung-ho about not neutering Jack, so I took it as a good sign and we took a nice trip to the SPCA.  He's doing fine and of course has his usual appetite. 

As far as papers go, things are progressing swimmingly.  I'm about done with my Medieval feminism paper and halfway through my Noir paper, done all three of my catalogue entries and only editing the two undergraduate entries remains.  So not a bad haul.  I'm submitting a proposal for travel funding this summer, but who knows whether that will pan out since the budget at UVA is a bit tighter than usual.  If it works I want to go to England to see one of the manuscripts I'll be working on for my MA thesis, and if I get a big grant (crosses fingers) I'd like to go to Cologne too.  Maybe.  Heh.  Really, it's unlikely that I'll be going farther than the Walters Museum in Baltimore this summer.

Today I found out that the Ocean City house is condemned.  I kind of want to go up and see it one last time.  If my dad goes I think I will too.  My grandmother called me back today and asked if I wanted anything from it... it makes me sad and depressed to see her thinking about selling all the things that I grew up with.  I know they are part of a life she wasn't ever really happy with, but I remember being happy there and I will miss it.  She did say I could have the painting of Wittern.  I hope she doesn't forget.

Tom and I made a bet Thursday night.  I bet him $500 that he can't lose 80 pounds in the next year.

If he wins the bet, it'll be the best $500 I ever spent.  One of the most heartbreaking things for me is imagining what I would do if he died; I think this could add ten years to his life.  Technically I'm getting a bargain. :)

In other news, I finished one connoisseurship paper!  Four to go!  And, I've started germinating our vegetable garden seeds for the summer.  Hooray!  I love watching them crack open and start growing, it's such a beautiful process.

Tom and I saw Zack and Miri last night.  Disappointing.  I reviewed it at 2.5 stars, due to a combination of odious female lead and lack of proper conclusion.  Granted it made me laugh a lot-- if it had been a pure comedy instead of a dramedy I would easily have rated it 4/5.  Of course, if it had been a pure comedy we would have gotten an ending instead of a sobby mess. 

In terms of plot construction, it's pretty straightforward: two friends/roomies, Zack and Miri, are broke and need to pay the rent.  They decide that making a porn starring themselves would generate at least enough income to cover their debts.  From there on out, there's a lot of drama involving who sleeps with whom as well as some really funny interaction between the other cast members and some spot-on parodies of porno conventions.  Eventually our lovebirds blow up at each other and separate and the movie goes downhill rapidly.  There's a "three months later" lapse, Zack goes back to check up on the film, his friend tells him to finish it, and we never hear about it again.  The entire denoument is taken up with a sobby reunion between our leads.  I think the editor of the in-movie porno sums if up quite well with his comment:
"First we have sex, then some more sex, then this boring bullshit!"

What Smith makes uncomfortably apparent in this movie is a vicious double standard for the male and female leads.  The guy (Zack) has moments of honesty, vulnerability, and openness, while the girl (Miri) is basically the receptor for all this manly selflessness.  In the beginning, Zack accidentally busts in on her going to the bathroom because she's left the door open a crack.  She swears a blue streak and orders him out, insisting that the door wasn't all the way open.  That interaction is pretty typical of their entire relationship-- every time he takes the plain and obvious course of action she responds with indirectness and/or passive aggressive behavior.  They have sex; her post-sex questions are all calculated such that he knows she wants a specific answer but not what that answer is.  She tells the other female lead that it's no problem if Zack sleeps with other women, and then when he does (after having looked at her for the ok) she's infuriated and ends their relationship.  At the end of the movie Zack tells Miri it's okay if she's slept with other men, but she never does him the same courtesy.  In fact, the relationship-maker for her is that he never actually slept with their co-star.

The message from all this appears to be that a desirable woman is going to put her man through all these bullshit  "tests" and tell him yes when she means no-- but that's okay, because the guy is big enough to get past it.  Tom responded pretty positively to Seth Rogan, and honestly I don't see how he could have done otherwise.  Zack is courteous, funny, friendly, and gets angry in a constructive way.  I'd totally date him.  On the other hand, Miri goes from a cool, beer-drinking wingman to an enigma, someone to tiptoe around and forgive for her irrationality and possessiveness.  What?

I love Kevin Smith, but this was a marked drop from the quality of lead female in Clerks II (Rosario Dawson, in a strikingly non-dramatic and down-to-earth role).  I suspect that his attempts to make women "more real" result in this kind of stereotyping.  He writes great comedy (Miri's funny scenes were excellent) but when he tries for heartfelt our female comes across as flighty, needy and manipulative.  To its credit, Zack and Miri doesn't fall prey to the typical comedy convention of "smart girl trying to rehabilitate her idiot boyfriend," but it certainly sets up an equally destructive paradigm for adult relationships, one that seems like a strange admixture between the 50's "be the man for her"  and the feminist "who cares how many guys she's slept with."   Miri, in this world, doesn't have to worry either about being feminine enough (that would be sexist) OR about allowing for the sexual revolution, since its ok for her to hate it when Zack sleeps with other girls.  Seems like Kevin Smith has given Zack the worst of both worlds.

Oh well, at least he gets a hot piece of ass!

From here on out it shall be an admixture of friends-only and public entries.  I think that is the best way to go about things!  The more personal entries will be reserved for friends list whilst the more general ones (having to do with papers and other academic efforts) will be posted publicly. 

Today I found out that my thesis proposal draft is due in April!  I had seen a mention previously on the UVA grad website but hadn't put it together that I need to get on this.  Apparently my adviser was also unaware, so we will work on it together.  I'm not sure what my focus will be, since I'm working on three Ottonian mss. this semester and worked on quite a few last semester (the Egbert Psalter, Egbert Codex, Gospels of Otto III, and a few more). 

This semester I have decided to educate myself about feminism.  This is of course partly due to my Ottonian paper on nunneries and their productions, but I also think that a good thorough study of the methods of feminist criticism will be very relevant for my future studies.  I also have a very strong reaction (varying between positive and negative) to feminist art criticism.  That kind of reaction usually means I will pick it up fast and actually enjoy studying.

I'll find out about some internships I've applied for at the end of this month, which will really help me to get my summer sorted out.  I'll need a job of one kind or another to make ends meet, and ideally that job would entail museum work.  Although my end goal isn't to work in a museum specifically, I think more experience in that environment would do me good.  Failing that, I'll see if I can pick up a part time job, learn French and knock out a chunk of my thesis.

There's also talk of a trip up to the Walters Gallery to check out some romance manuscripts from the 13th century.  Hopefully my class goes up there (it's somewhat expensive to undertake alone) and I can also check out their Reichenau manuscript, which I don't believe has been written on since its acquisition in the mid-20th century. 

One more thing: we had lunch today with a possible new fellow.  She was delightful and I think would make a wonderful addition to the department!  She's a classics student interested in working with Early Christian manuscripts, which I think is a perfect background for that under-studied period. 

Internet Culture and the Flaneur
(a work in progress)

Baudelaire's flaneur has become a modern convention: the city-visitor/dweller who moves among the people without involving himself in the hustle and bustle of their daily lives.  The flaneur stands apart from the rest of the population, for good or ill; he has been characterized as upper class (he has the money to be idle), male (he can proceed unnoticed) and white (racially perceived as having the right to spectate by his peers).  His inaction raises the ire of critics who see the flaneur as a menacing, unproductive construct epitomizing the artificial distancing of humanity from its own suffering, but also elicits sympathy from authors who feel that this behavior is an unavoidable and possibly productive reaction to modernization.  The flaneur may not help the little old lady cross the street, but he can appreciate the varied beauties of the city without succumbing to sentimentality.

Of course, he's a heydey for the critics, both of Baudelaire and of modernism.  What gives the upper class the right to viewership?  What's the relationship between the flaneur and his peers?  Is he innately threatening?  And there is the matter of the "invisible flaneuse": the lack of freedom of movement for women in an epoch that was largely defined by male pursuits and the marginalization of women as workers and public figures.  Feminism has come a far way, but a woman walking the streets is still far more likely to draw attention than a man.  The same goes for race.  There is no black flaneur, at least not in American cities.

Which brings me to the culture of the internet.  It is almost a truism at this point that (to a degree) the internet provides anyone with anonymity.  As the "no girls on the internet" (NSFW) meme attests, this anonymity is largely white and male: it essentially turns every user into a flaneur.  Experiencing this sudden lack of context for the first time is akin to the rush of being in disguise and having everyone buy it.  It is intoxicating and feels a little dangerous-- plenty of people want that context back immediately and begin obnoxiously advertising their gender.  If that temptation is resisted the new-minted flaneur is welcome to go about the virtual city seeing the sights in wonderment, like one of Shakespeare's cross-dressing women, interacting with whoever they please and not provoking untoward interest unless they either see fit or slip up. 

The virtual flaneur is in quite a different position than Baudelaire's roamer of the 19th- and 20th- century streets.  In a physical city, the distant and sardonic observer is less than welcome.  His status and the exclusivity of his ability raise resentment and suspicion in the involved populace.  Very few people on the street want to be watched; he must go about his business in silence and with discretion.  There is an element of unwanted voyeurism in his behavior. 

The sudden leveling of the playing field in virtual-land has created something quite different than this city mentality.  The internet skips easily around the question "who has the right to watch" and simply bestows the ability on the masses.  Here, we are all flaneurs, and here the flaneur is welcomed, even courted.  He is still primarily a white, male identity, because that is how he started, but underneath that we each know that there might very well be someone female, or black, or really anything.  Nothing, as the scans_daily motto goes, is too obscure. 

And in leveling the playing field, in making us all the same anonymous white male, the playing field has been unalterably changed.  Certainly there are self-identified female, black, gay, religious, national, regional, what-have-you communities-- but outside of intentional ghettoization there are thousands of communities based around subjects that have nothing to do with the old identifiers.  People who might feel uncomfortable meeting on the street don their flaneur hats and chat for days over bacon and weird porn and classic Star Wars.  We are no longer uncomfortable being watched, because the privilege of watching has been extended to all.

FIN

I realize that this is not "new news."  The internet has been around for a while and it's damn sure that Baudelaire has.  There is even an article about internet flaneurship on Google's frontpage (it isn't very good).  But I had this knocking around in my head.

And I think that the internet identity, by virtue of longevity and exposure to such a variety of users, is becoming less defined as white and male.  As someone on Reddit said the other day, "I picture every user as a brain attached to a keyboard."  A few years ago I felt awkward admitting on forums that I was female (when I wasn't making an ass of myself by advertising it); now it's far less of a big deal.  It doesn't elicit the same outpouring of male interest that it used to, it seems; and it seems the same for quite a few other ladies who post on the communities I visit.  A few years ago, if I told people I was a girl, there was an immediate sexual tension.  Now it's more of a playful banter, and self-conscious acknowledgement of the old feeding-frenzy-if-a-girl-rears-her-head mentality.  This is heartening. 

I'm also not dealing with the immense amount of really bad shit running around the internet.  Of course it is a place where racism and sexism can foment, all you have to do is find a community that encourages it.  On the other hand, it's very easy to detect racists and sexists on the internet!

I wish I could have a cup of coffee with him.
Here are some of his musings, found by his son after his death.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, my journal will not be public any more.  If you still want to read it, you can become an LJ member for free!  And then friend me!